Dear friends, colleagues students
Following on from last week’s post on natural mindfulness (thank you for your responses) I want to revisit those in a way by writing about two kinds of mindfulness.. deliberate and effortless…. one is the intellectual path and one is the path of experience…
In a way we need both, at least for a time, since ‘the artificial leads to the natural’ w.w.w.scribd.com/doc/27626668/Ultimate-Dzogchen-by-Tulku-Urgyen-Rinpoche
We first apply the method of mindfulness, remembering, becoming aware we are in a dual state, that is separate from what is outside us, then once we remember and we reconnect with the natural non dual state we can just be aware of it then when we become aware we have become distracted again we can come back. At times it’s as if we don’t have to apply the method, the state comes unbidden and is stronger and stays longer….
Nondual awareness completely lets go of attaching any importance to the arising and ceasing of thoughts. It is indeed quite exhausting to try to keep track of the aware state! it is better to enter deeply into the spaciousness…..
Otherwise there is always a subject and object … I am here and my breathing is there.. or I am here and my body is there…,a subtle fixation and separation is still present. Trying to catch the natural state is tiring and why would we bother, as a child we just played and were in the natural state until our individual self, our wanting self, wanted more or something different and we became unhappy.
In the beginning we need the watchfulness until we are used to it. Once that has happened we don’t need to look here or there, something has been catalysed, jump started if you will and it will gradually take the lead. I am particularly strongly aware of this when I awaken in the morning, this sense of ‘I am’ coming from with the body, from the solar plexus, with a sense of deep knowing, of truth.
This has been strengthening since I have been working with a meditation given by Rudolf Steiner…
I say to myself ‘I am’ and feel the response in the brow or 3rd eye,
I say to myself then ‘it thinks’ and feel the response in the throat.
Then I say to myself ‘she feels’ and feel the response in my chest
And finally I say to myself ‘he wills’ and feel the response in the solar plexus.
Then I try to integrate all these different parts of me, ‘I am’,’ it’, ‘she’ and ‘he.’..
You may like to try it. At first I found it a bit confusing, but its quite revelatory over time. I can see which elements are more developed and which less developed and even avoided. Our family constellation is part of this, what aspects of us were welcomed and which were discounted….which elements did we develop in compensation perhaps?
Of course Steiner education is based on the education in children of firstly the will, then the feeling life, then the thinking life and finally the spiritual life…
As Gurdjeiff taught, to bring the body (vehicle) horse (emotions) driver (intellect) and master ( individual spiritual “i’) itogether, to integrate these different selves is a huge task and one not many of us master. I remember dreaming once after bringing Gurdjieff into my mindfulness research with Steiner teachers that my vehicle was separate to me, going this way and that, moving about as if my feet were disconnected from the rest of me, ungoverned by the master, which made perfect sense at that time.
I dreamt last night about moving into a new house, with an indoor laundry ( we didn’t have an indoor laundry in our 1870s stone cottage for about 15 years, now we do) with a washing machine and taps but no hoses to connect the two (in our new indoor laundry we have taps but no sink) . I see there is something around new developments and something around emotions.. I have dreamt of underground plumbing before (at my parent’s place in Melbourne) during times of emotional release ….it must be happening again….
Two forms of mindfulness indeed…